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Metta refers to one of Buddhism's ten perfections, qualities that lead to enlightenment. It is the first of the four virtues: loving-kindness (Metta), compassion (Karuna), sympathetic joy (Mudita), and equanimity (Upekkha). These virtues, also known as the Brahmaviharas, are essential for spiritual development. Metta means benevolence, loving, friendship, or kindness. It means caring and wishing well for another being without judging them, accepting them independently of agreeing or disagreeing with them. By practising Metta, we can experience the other states of the four Buddhist virtues, like joy.
Metta meditation, or loving-kindness meditation, is a Buddhist practice for cultivating compassion for ourselves and others through directing loving, friendly phrases and goodwill. “Metta” is a Pali word, most often translated as loving-kindness. The practice originates from the historical Buddha’s early discourse on immeasurable friendliness, the Metta Sutta.
Metta is a versatile concentration and mindfulness practice that empowers the practitioner to enter a more loving, connected state of mind. This loving-kindness practice can be embraced anywhere, anytime, whether on a meditation cushion, navigating through traffic, or strolling down a bustling street.
When we practice Metta, we embark on a transformative journey towards honesty and love, both for ourselves and the world. In Metta meditation, we extend our heartfelt wishes for happiness, safety, and ease towards ourselves and others. In the most common version of Metta practice, we offer these feelings of goodwill through simple phrases first to ourselves and then to someone we love, someone we’re indifferent towards, someone we consider a “difficult person,” and finally to all beings everywhere. This practice allows us to start our loving-kindness journey with feelings that are most accessible to us and gradually work up to more complex feelings, such as sending love to someone with whom we have a strained relationship.
Some examples of the phrases you might use in Metta practice are:
MAY I BE HEALTHY
MAY I BE HAPPY
MAY I BE LOVED
MAY I BE FREE FROM SUFFERING
At first, some people might find the Metta practice too mushy or sentimental or need help to feel the connection Metta promises. Others might struggle to direct loving feelings toward someone they consider problematic. As Buddhist teacher Melvin Escobar writes in his teaching on Metta meditation, the practice of Metta can be compared to lifting weights: If we begin with a weight that’s too heavy for us, we might end up hurt or give up. “Likewise,” writes Escobar, “we can harm ourselves by trying to practice Metta with a challenging person [in mind] if we haven’t developed the capacity to work with the aversion and despair that may arise.” It's essential to start with individuals more accessible to direct loving-kindness and gradually work up to more challenging relationships.
Therefore, we gradually begin the Metta practice, acknowledging it's a journey. We commence with ourselves, a being we hold dear — perhaps a mentor, child, or pet — and when we’re prepared, we progress to a more complex person. With consistent practice, Metta's benefits can be truly transformative.
Benefits of Compassion Practice
- Improved social and familial relationships
- Increased self-love, self-compassion, and self-worth
- Transformation of emotional pain
- Enhanced sense of connection and belonging to the world
- Better mental and emotional health
- Decreased stress and anxiety
How to Do Metta
Step-by-Step Loving-Kindness Meditation
Here’s how to practice Metta meditation. To begin, find a quiet, uplifting place to practice your loving-kindness, setting aside 15-20 minutes to complete the meditation. You can do this practice with your eyes open or closed.
Sit comfortably in a chair or on a meditation cushion. Allow your body to feel at ease and supported by the surface beneath you. Begin to connect to your breath, focusing on the inhale and exhale until your breath finds a natural flow.
Bring your attention to your heart area. You can bring a hand to your heart or leave it comfortably resting on your knees. Begin to offer loving-kindness to yourself by repeating some of these phrases (or all), allowing ample space between each one:
- May I be safe
- May I be healthy
- May I be happy
- May I be loved
- May I be at ease
- May I be filled with loving-kindness
- May I be peaceful
-May I be free from suffering
Next, think of someone you love and care about. This can be a family member, a friend, a pet, or someone helpful in your life. Picture them in your mind, and offer them the exact phrases of loving-kindness (some of these phrases or all):
- May you be safe
- May you be healthy
- May you be happy
- May you be at ease
- May you be filled with loving-kindness
- May you be peaceful
- May you be loved
- May you be free from suffering
If you find your mind wandering, return to the rhythm of your breath. Next, call to mind a person you consider problematic. This could be someone you’ve disagreed with or had any difficulty with. Picture them in your mind, and offer them the exact phrases of loving-kindness (some of these phrases or all):
- May you be safe
- May you be healthy
- May you be happy
- May you be at ease
- May you be filled with loving-kindness
- May you be peaceful
- May you be loved
- May you be free from suffering
The key message of the post is that Metta, or loving-kindness meditation, is a powerful Buddhist practice that cultivates compassion and connection by extending goodwill and kindness towards oneself and others. Through consistent practice, Metta meditation can transform emotional pain, improve relationships, enhance self-compassion, and promote overall mental and emotional well-being. Metta's journey starts with oneself and gradually extends to loved ones, difficult individuals, and ultimately all beings, fostering a deep sense of universal love and peace. This universal nature of Metta meditation promotes a sense of connection with all beings.
Enjoy!
Love
Michela Sborchia xo
Michela Sborchia @All Rights Reserved
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