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PART ONE
Some years ago, I remember waking up one night and being unable to fall back asleep. I tossed and turned and sighed. It was about 3:00 a.m. I used to get annoyed by this interruption of sleep until I learned to surrender to the fact that it would not stop and that I had to make the most of it.
That night was very intense. While I was lying in bed, thinking that I should sit in meditation, a beautiful feeling overtook my body and mind. After the restlessness, I felt peace. I looked at my beloved sleeping beside me, and my heart and womb started to respond to this energy that had enveloped me completely. It felt like a dance, where two energies were moving closer and further apart and closer again. I sensed a new love and a new understanding awaking in my heart.
I started to feel an ancient energy arising from within. It felt like an energy I once knew well but had long forgotten. I was unsure what it meant, but I knew I had no choice but to surrender. I felt a profound Love for the Divine Masculine in that surrender moment. I felt this powerful energy flowing through me and all around me. I felt it within me and in my Beloved’s body and soul. I was in awe as if I could see His Divinity, Strength, Courage, Passion, Power, Wisdom and Love for the first time.
My journey with the Divine Masculine wasn't an easy one. I deeply mistrusted this energy, felt completely disconnected, and had massive resistance when trying to reconnect with Him. The Father's energy was a raw and painful place to be. But my life has been an amazing journey of healing, redemption and forgiveness. Thanks to the Great Merciful Mother and through her Compassion and Love, I started to heal that part of me that felt hatred towards the Masculine Energy. One day, She started to call me from many different places. I went to India, England, France and Italy. I walked on these sacred lands and went without hesitation, with a bit of fear and no expectations. At the time, I thought I was doing this to awaken the Goddess within me and reconnect with Her. Little did I know!
The Great Goddess Mother had other plans for me, and with Her help, I have worked through deep feelings and wounds of hatred, betrayal, and fear. I had to do that to balance my energies, heal the masculine within me, and love the masculine around me.
That night when I “Woke Up,” I felt I had finally stepped onto the healing path. I was ready to reconnect with the Divine Masculine in me, to love and trust Him again.
Michela Sborchia
© Michela Sborchia ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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